Is life feeling a bit lackluster? Are you craving a little more sparkle in your day? Well, never fear because the glitter pill is here to turn your dull shits into glitz. There are two shimmering options: glitter and gold.

glitter pills

You can purchase small gel capsules full of non-toxic glitter for as low as $5 on the internet. However, if you truly want to have the midas touch, you can drop a wad in the amount of $425 for 24-karat dipped gold pills with gold leaf inside. These frivolous pills are becoming all the rage of the filthy rich. Let’s be real, what self-respecting debutante wouldn’t want to bedazzle her shit?

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The irony here is that late NYC artist, Tobias Wong, came up with the idea as a snub to consumerism. The gold capsules were created as an art piece for his collection called Indulgences. The collection was intended to be a social commentary on our culture’s obsession with luxury and materialism. There is nothing more self-indulgent than spending half a grand to turn your shit into precious gold, just to be flushed down a porcelain hole, and forgotten. The fact that people are actually eating these pills validates the very concept that Wong was intending to convey. Materialism has turned us into assholes.

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Aside from being impractical, these pills can’t be very healthy. Although food-grade glitter and gold leaf exist, these are not the same. Numerous sites selling glitter capsules have disclaimers warning consumers that they are not meant for consumption. You mean “non-toxic” glitter is inedible? Since when? Tell that to your three-year-old.

Common sense tells us that ingesting bits of artificially colored copolymer plastic and aluminum foil isn’t a smart idea. Ah hell, who cares about “smart” when you have enough money to literally shit glitter and gold, then wipe your ass with dollar bills? It certainly gives new meaning to the idea of throwing money down the drain. Know more.