Nope. You didn’t read that wrong. Thanks to all the adrenaline junkies in the world, skydiving is no longer the ultimate thrill. I mean, I get it – I’ve been skydiving – and I was never more bored than I was when I was jumping out of that plane. My tandem jumper enthusiastically yelled, “READY??!” and I was all like, “meh.”

Banzai skydiving is the new and improved jumping-off-tall-moving-objects sport which combines skydiving with the beloved childhood game of “catch me if you can.” In this sport, the clearly unstable skydiver proceeds to toss the parachute out of the plane ahead of himself – and unattached – before diving after it in an attempt to grab it and put it on before falling to his death. Just like Russian Roulette, the consolation prize for the loser is a funeral – and you thought Fight Club was intense…

I, for one, will be staying far, far away from Banzai Skydiving. Between prank-calling North Korea, preforming dental cleanings on sharks, and wrestling rabid racoons, my adrenaline quota is quite full. More power to those crazy Banzai bastards, but if you ever see me in an airplane preparing to jump, you’ll be the most uncomfortable with how cozy Mr. Parachute and I will be getting. I want him all up on me. Know more.