If you drop a deuce and have perfect pitch, listen to your toilet flush as the water swirls down the drain. You have to get the key of E-flat fresh in your mind, however, before listening for the tone. Jam out to some Stevie Ray Vaughan, Nirvana, or revert to a classical Beethoven sonata. If a Stevie Ray song is blaring as you flush, you may not hear that depressing E-flat you’re searching for, though.

I find it odd that E-flat is the toilet flushing chord because of its minor nature. Going to the bathroom is relieving, satisfying, and joyful, so E-flat is bewildering. The most effective way to hear the E-flat flushing is to blast some bagpipe jigs. The winey, high bagpipe notes make it easier to hear the lower E-flat of the toilet.

For those that are tone-deaf, this will be a failed experiment. If life was fair then we all would have the useless ability to identify the chord a toilet makes when it flushes. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t cater to everyone’s needs. Even if you can’t hear the sound, it’s an impressive fact to break the ice with some new people. There are those rogue toilets that flush in other keys, though. That chink in the chain provides a few minutes of pondering between new friends. Why aren’t all toilets created equal? The same could be said about humans. Know more.