If you know a hipster, chances are you’ve seen them pontificate endlessly about The Catcher in the Rye. If you know a hipster, you probably need to reevaluate your life choices.

If you ask that hipster about The Catcher in the Rye’s core message, you’ll get something completely off mark about how they really relate to Holden Caulfield. If someone relates to god damn Holden Caulfield, run.

If you ask that hipster about the author, J.D. Salinger, you’ll be forced to listen to how said hipster is so tortured, just like Salinger. However, for the life of their vintage coat, they could never tell you about how badass Salinger really was. In fact, he was expelled from three boarding schools growing up, ending up at Valley Forge Military Academy, so he’s not your typical English literature nerd.

D-Day, as you’ve probably heard, was the day allied troops landed on Normandy beach in France for one reason and one reason only: killin’ Nazis. It was a huge deal, go ask your grandpa. See if he has any scalps.

Salinger was one of the men who rushed the beach. His fellow soldiers said he was a “genuine hero”. Meaning he ran around in slow motion as things blew up, and was shooting like Rambo on ‘roids. Holden ain’t got nothing on that.

Another thing is that he also met with the notoriously drunk Ernest Hemingway, and author of some obscure books. Salinger also did some writing of his own, in between cracking some anti-Semitic skulls.

In the end, he died a recluse, and a renowned author. His books capture the human condition in the confusion of post-war America, especially in the intelligent and creative set. Like people too smart for their own good, and that’s their downfall. How everything is fake, how it’s not authentic. How depressing life really is when you peel away the veneer. Boredom. But that’s life.

Enough with the high school English report.

Next time you hear a hipster going on about fucking Holden Caulfield, step in for the sake of humanity and tell them that Salinger would kick their pathetic ass. Know more.