Some age gracefully, and some cling to youth like an overly obsessed girlfriend clings to her man. Every routine-botox, plastic surgery, bathing in the blood of virgins-is exhausted by those who wish that Ponce de León had found The Fountain of Youth and not Florida.

As a result, absurd fads take off. One of them happens to be face cream that contains human foreskin. Yeah.

SkinMedica, a skincare company for the rich has a line called TNS, or “Tacky Nasty Scam” (just kidding, it means “Tissue Nutrient Skin”). Two creams it includes are TNS Recovery Complex and TNS Essential Serum. Both will cost you around or over $200.00. Oprah endorsed it, for goodness sake!. Then again, she made the Million Little Pieces guy famous.

As far as science goes, the reviews are mixed. The main ingredient in creams that advertise as high end anti-aging crap that has foreskin in it is called human dermal fibroblast (HDF). However, SkinMedica calls it “messenger proteins” which means nothing. At the end of the day, it’s penis skin.

Two problems are presented. The first is the business of acquiring foreskin for the product. Hospitals sometimes sell it, post chop, to corporations that specialize in dick cream. It’s an ethical issue for sure. Parents aren’t even given a cut! No pun intended.

The second is being sued-or, rather, SkinMedica being sued. A lawsuit was filed, claiming that the foreskin derived concoction has the potential to cause cancer. This is because the desired outcome from using the cream is rapid cell growth. If these cells are mutated, like cancer cells, you’re screwed.

Oh, and the lawsuit also mentions that the products are not only misbranded, but technically cannot be sold in the USA. That’s…shady to the max.

If you’re so desperate to look like a trophy wife at the first sign of winkles, then go to the hospital and start rubbing foreskin all over yourself. They’ll be cool with it, and totally not put you in the crazy people ward. Know more.