ugly dog

Think dog breeds are a natural product of evolution? Or maybe you think that they’re a result of people breeding dogs for specific functional characteristics (ie. hunting). Well, there’s a little bit of truth to both, but the bigger truth is that dog breeds exist as they are today because wealthy Englishman grew bored in the 19th century and decided to see what outrageous dog specimens they could come up with.

According to a recent documentary and satirical YouTube video, dog breeds as they are today are a result of over a century of mindless inbreeding that has caused bloodlines to remain “pure” and dogs to become mutants. Apparently, many breeds have a been ruined as a result of human experimentation and rigorous Pedigree regulations that doesn’t allow natural selection to do its job. What’s left is a cruel joke with some breeds too big to fit through birth canals, some dogs’ skulls too small for their brains, and some breeds with noses that can barely even breathe properly (case in point: the Bulldog).

The next time you think about going to Next In Show’s top breeder for your puppy, take a moment to picture that puppy as it actually is: a tiny product of incest with some of the worst gene combinations known to the species. A mentally, physically, and biologically-challenged disaster of human stupidity. If you aren’t the retarded counterpoint of a purebred puppy, your local pound’s mutts are looking pretty healthy right about now. Know more.