I never knew I could feel betrayal at the metaphorical hands of a vegetable, but here we are. Thank you, Dutch growers of late, for changing the natural purple carrot into the orange carrot we all crunch on today. Every night I get down on my knees and thank god for authentic produce, but today I feel disgusting.

Apparently, before the 16th century, all carrots were actually purple, with the occasional mutation creating a yellow or white variety. However, while the reason still remains cloudy, at the turn of the 17th century Dutch growers began cultivating a plumper, sweeter orange variety that we know and love today.

It is said that the color change may have been orchestrated as a tribute to the House of Orange, which was struggling for independence. However, there’s definitely one group of people the Dutch weren’t thinking of when they discontinued purple… The gays are furious. Know more.