Sara Soto is MENSA level brilliant. Pragmatic. Innovative. Driven.

She broke into someone’s house, naked, by reaching her hand through the doggy door. All because she needed to use a phone, to call a tow truck, because she crashed her car and the police wouldn’t let her use their phone. Pigs, am I right?

And when no phone was found in the home-well, Sara decided to take a bath, sans water.

Her reason for going nude? To avoid getting shot! Well, that could be construed as half rational, depending on the demographics of the Texas town this took place in. Also, she wanted to shock the residents.

Those two things…well, startling someone, in their home, when they may or may not own a gun…Sara, honey, no. That’s how you win The Darwin Award.

Sara Soto possess dexterity, vision, and tenacity. Please, this woman deserves a MacArthur grant, in order to further the field of completely fake bullshit to justify committing two crimes in one go. Know more.