Gather ’round, children, while I tell you the historic tale of a man with a dream… A dream to have a party without his wife in attendance. A dream so powerful, so captivating, that this man went great lengths to achieve it – and those lengths included causing the flood of a decade.

In 1993, James R. Scott, age 24, sabotaged a levee holding back the great Mississippi River, in hopes that he could flood the area enough to strand his wife and keep her from coming home. He ended up causing 14,000 acres of Missouri land to flood, destroying farmland, buildings, and closing the only bridge to the area for 71 days. Needless to say, the honorable Judge presiding over the case did not share Scott’s wife-free sentiments, and Scott will be spending the rest of his life in prison for his ambitious dream party.

Speaking of ambitious, they just don’t make them like Scott anymore. Can you imagine any Millenials causing a flood to reach their goals? Can you even imagine a Millenial with goals? I know – it’s challenging. Scott may have been an idiot, but a reach-for-the-stars kind of idiot he was. Meanwhile, millenials are inconvenienced when asked to look up from their phones. Little did we all know when Scott was sentenced, that we’d later be yearning for young adults with Scott-like enthusiasm. Know more.