A Russian court just ordered Russian oligarch Dmitry Rybolovlev to pay his wife of 23 years 4.5 billion dollars. Let’s break this down. I’m going to assume this woman is the generous type, so let’s say she gave about one blow job every week of their marriage. That’s 1,196 blowjobs. Now, let’s do some quick blow-job math here…

$4,500,000,000 ÷ 1,196 blow jobs = $3,762,541.81 per blow job

For each hummer this generous lady gave her bear fighting, vodka swilling beau, she earned just under 4 million dollars. Damn, we need to switch careers over here. Know more.