The great state of Arizona is really cracking down on its sexual offenders, beginning with the worst of all: five-year-olds. In the wonderfully named city of Surprise, Arizona, Eric Lopez was challenged by his kindergartner friends to pull down his pants on the playground. So he did, but surprise! He got written up for sexual misconduct by his principal. His mom claims–like any normal human would–that Eric didn’t know what he was doing, but the school clearly doesn’t believe in things like childhood psychological development. DO YOU EVEN HAVE MEMORIES FROM WHEN YOU WERE FIVE-YEARS-OLD? The criminalization could last Eric’s whole life and haunt him well into middle school when we all know coodies are at their worst. So what’s the best strategy to avoid your kid getting similar treatment? Apparently never let them act like a kid. Thanks, Arizona! Know more.